I don’t believe in anything but this.

I can be as black-and-white as you can.

You like your Guinness.  You go on the piss.

Don’t blame that on my friend, Mr. Toucan.

You must admire my friend’s big golden beak –

Just like an inflatable banana.

You meet a parrot – wait for him to speak.

You’d avoid a vulture or piranha,

Or any creature you misunderstand.

That covers most of them, including me.

Without a sauce, you’d find your veg too bland.

You couldn’t last one week without TV.

My meaning is as clear as mud to you.

You need your Guinness, and wrong point of view.