My job title is impressive –

the work I do, a total bore.

My wife is blonde and beautiful,

and sleeping with the bloke next-door.

We do have “two kids, one of each”,

and both of them are thugs,

who only go to uni

for the sex, and drink and drugs.

I might well paint a pretty picture:

my "friendsreunited" profile.

It’s not as if I’ve lied, as such.

Meanwhile…