Paula's Poems

Helpless

by Paula Puddephatt

they are here

I feel their pain

every day

it twists

forming complex knots

inside my heart

rips me apart

words aren't enough

my tears

my love

some days

just getting through

myself

can feel like

an almost impossible task

depleted

defeated

and yes

I still get suicidal thoughts


but what do you do

when you want to help

but you can't

can't help anyone

anyone at all

so you simply watch

the future

unfolding

in black-and-white

fading into sepia tones

in painfully slow motion

you're watching them fall

and all you really want

is for someone

to grab your hand

and save you

because

you know

that you're falling too

but you can't

reach out

how can you when

you're paralysed

by fear


so they are there

inside her head

she feels their pain

every day

but she cannot help

cannot save

anyone

and now she is dying with them

Home | Dreams Instead | Twisted Illusions | Suicide Angel | Delusions So Beautiful | Helpless | Too Attached | High on Life | Something's Not Right | Distraction | Lifestyle Choice | See Me Through | And The Cycle Repeats | Worthless | No Reverse | Barbed Wire | Love Wasted | Obsession's Dance | Where are You? | Three Years | Eternal | Conclusion | Confused and Broken | Moving On | Final Spin | Attachment and Obsession | Bluebells for Eternal Friendship | Spirit's Song | My Cousin Rachel | La Mouette | Mary and the Horse Thief | From the East Wing | Persephone | Disordered Mind | Girl in Pink | Tenderness and Lace | No Rhythm, Reason or Rhyme | The Legend of Lucy Lightfoot | Only The Horse | Harsh Lessons | Time | Display | Space of a Year | For Other Survivors | Dreams and Illusions | Space and Away | Autumn Days | Inside My Mind | In Every Breeze | Almost Wondering Why | Scarlet | Sepia | 2012: End of the World? | The Truth From The Lies | Carousel | The "Own Life" Exclusion Clause | Never Was Enough | All Over Again | Colours of Pain | Distant | So Quietly | Before I | One Flower | Liquid Gold | My Words | Analysis | Consequences | Dreaming in Neon | Psychedelic Skies | Dreams | Magnolia | Self-Harm | Revealed | Trust | If I Believe | Moonlit Emotions | Selective Caring | Moments | Plan B | Reasons, Seasons and Private People | Even Now | Words Like | Can't Not | New Start | Pure | Not Mine | Disappointing Daughter | Numbers | Not Spring For Me | You Both | Retreat | Given Choice | Relentless | Sunlight | Artificial | Memories | Night Poems | The Quiet Ones | No-one Hears | All Night | Spiral Staircase in Sepia | Non-directional Days | Trying to Escape | Calm | Empty Cradles | Silver | The Healing Process | Twigs and Leaves | Late Autumn Into Winter | On The Inside, Looking Out | Disappointment | And Now | Star | For Rhiannon | Maybe Baby Pink | Potential | Metaphorically | Bell Jars, Sylvia, Ariadne and Me | Walls | So Much Better When | Sometimes You're Everywhere | Never Pain | Converting Each Hurt | Fade Into | Speak My Mind | Ebony and Blue | Neon and Rainbows | Oak Tree | Dark Days | And That Is All | Almost Safe | So Scared | Parallel Paths | Tesco Clubcard | What They Don't See | Pastel Shades | Imperfect Expressions | Every Day | Your Words | Beyond | A Reason | But I Don't | That You'll Reject Me | Descending Chords | Feels Like The End | Can't Mention | Learning to Fake It | Tell Me Why | The Right Words | Darkened Room | Obsession | Why Can't We? | Beyond "friendsreunited" | Underneath Her Mask | Delusions | Fragile Beauty | Not All About | Enough | Jaded | Black-and-white (with a golden beak) | Magic Beans and Mindless Office Work | Resigned | To Pay the Rent | Autumn | The Kids and Pets Thing | Who is "Everybody", Anyway? | Employment Options: Horses For Courses | Sample Kyrielle | Alternative CV | Spiritual Peace | Not in God's Name | The Highest Perch | Quakers on Pacifism | Knock, Knock | Cash Machines in Walls | Depression | If You Know These Things | Quaker Plain | Shades of Grey | Sellotape and Glue | Devotion | Spirit of the Unicorn | Moonlight Reflected | Insomnia | No Chance | 1993 | Remembering | Games | A Piece of my Peace of Mind | Lime Trees | Yew Trees | Feeding the Ducks | Duck Haiku | Dolphins | Transcending | Perspective | A Certain Stillness | Toco Toucan | Red Roses | Purple Velvet | Links