They’re told to watch X-factor, so they do.
They’re atheists who married
in a church.
They almost, nearly have a point
And read the Daily Mirror, just like you.
Nine in Ten are like them, says
She does the vacuum cleaning
They’ll have their second
kid by thirty-five.
Ibiza is their favourite place to stay.
They buy and sell possessions
They get drunk to remember they’re
Or maybe to forget. Well, they work hard,
So who could claim they haven’t
earned the right
To boozy Friday nights –
in which they’ve starred
Since teenage years which left
They’ve savings, but will
tell you “money’s tight”.
They went to Glastonbury for a laugh
Two years ago. Now they can say they’ve been.
He’ll always drink a pint,
and she a half.
He likes to wave his Man United
She "does the gym" to keep her
They download music now –
don’t buy CDs.
They like the bands that
it is cool to like.
Her skirts do very nearly reach
She can still wear a Ten –
but not with ease.
tell him when to go on strike.
She must apply make-up before
Put out the wheelie bins. She has her pride.
They have their mortgage, and
their Five-Year Plan.
She’s in the garden, topping
up her tan.
He likes his dead pig breakfast,